Wear your fandom on your feet! World Cup-inspired socks by Happy Socks. Story by Marq Frerichs.

As a guy, what do I have that’s mine, all mine? As far as my outward appearance goes, that is. Doesn’t matter where I am, who I’m with or what I’m wearing, they’re mine. Can you guess?

Well, actually there are two things, but today, I’m talking socks.

Women have handbags and charm bracelets to have and hoard, to show off their status. Me, I wear a mean pair and my boys all nod and gush in a manly fashion.

A sock of colour or pattern can be worn anytime and with anything. I would particularly recommend experimenting with socks while wearing your Bay Street three-piece. Imagine yourself at the office, managing that affaire de negotiation, all straight-faced, an über mensch of commerce, a titan of widgets, comptroller of cogs in the machine. All the while, robin’s egg blue and pink polka dots are ensconced in your brogues. It’s only when you’re sitting behind your desk that your sartorial rebellion reveals itself—only you and the mini recycling bin can see your true colours peaking out from under the crisp cuff of your pants.

Can you imagine what fun it would be at the G20 if someone asked the gentlemen to raise their pant legs to show off their socks?

What would it reveal? Obama wearing muted stars and stripes, and our own PM in knee-highs and garters, slouchiness not an option. Or maybe a print of small skull and cross bones? If he can hijack our Parliament, why not the world? Oh, to be his personal stylist, paid by you and you and you.

There are a couple of great shops for deals on men’s hosiery. Urban Outfitters (235 Yonge St., 481 Queen St. W.) offers the biggest selection and, at three pairs for $20, it’s a bi-monthly visit for me. They’re not the greatest quality, but at that price, all my friends will be receiving sock puppets for Christmas. (I just don’t see myself darning them by the hearth.) One can find the brand Happy Socks at most good shops—Grreat Stuff (870 Queen St. W.), GotStyle (489 King St. W.) etc.—and, at $10 per pair, they’re pretty good too. Not to mention that they have a line inspired by the World Cup which you can order online—show your spirit, people.

Regardless, put heel to toe and sock it to me. Bah hahaha!